The instructions were clear and convincing her to accept the job was easy, except for the last sentence of the contract. Jump. She wondered what that meant. She swallowed her fear when the elevator stopped with a shuddering groan. They were suspended between floors with a gaping hole in the middle. The only way to get out was to… and eyeing the distance between her and her family, she silently finished the last part of the sentence.
I learned that I am going to be French today. I guess you think congratulations are in order. I suppose . I mean, you probably think I’m the luckiest girl in the world. When you’re an archduchess -of The HOLY ROMAN FREAKING EMPIRE- no less, it’s pretty much a given that you’ll get a decent marriage. Especially when your mama is a bombass Empress who has no idea how to be anything less than fantastic. Throw in a king who is not playing by mama’s rules ( King George III of England )and the youngest daughter(me) who needs a powerful alliance (aka marriage) and voila … you have a new home in the most important, elegant and notoriously extravagant court in all Europe. France.
I’m not really a fan of politics or alliances or anything that has no fun in it but I hear that Mama hates the French. So why did she ship me in her words “straight to the lion’s den ?” To France -a land of the most wicked king in the world?
Well, simply put it it’s that my mama hates the English even more than she hates the French king, a pompous prig whose name is Louis XV who in turn hates old George III as well so there you go -and, it’s the only logical solution. The enemies of your enemies are your friends. I think that’s how it goes. But I’m not really sure what it means other than that I am going to France.
What could possibly go wrong?
Absolutely everything. I’m 13 and 41 minutes old, to be exact and I’m exactly what I’m supposed to be. Young, frivolous and carefree. I love dogs and dancing.
Who am I, you ask?
Oops, you mean I didn’t properly introduce myself? My name is Maria Antonia Josepha but you can call me Marie Antoinette.
Previously on the lifestyles of the French and Fickle….we met the future Queen of France, learned that the French are a bit extra and that Marie Antoinette misses her dogs and dear mama.
“MARS! Stop laughing! Read this and tell me it’s not Helios! That cheater! I could have anyone with this geography! ” Gaia screamed and pointed to the computer screen.
For Sale By Cosmos :
Nice, bright, little star ideal for a solar system with 9 planets and no black holes. Gassy little gem has a steamy mix of helium,
carbon, nitrogen, hydrogen, and oxygen. Perfect for tiny space rocks without the hassle of a hypergiant. UV ray‘s optional.
Gaia continued ” …Do you know what this means?”
Mars shook his head and sighing replied:” I’m afraid to ask .”
“Another ice age. That’s what. ”
Copyright: Douglas M. MacIlroy