It’s time for the holidays and so naturally , it’s time to talk about relatives .There comes a point where you have to decide what’s more important . Good relations with your relations or your sanity . Because I’ve decided you can’t have both .
If you have a wonderfully functioning family like I do , you’ll understand that it didn’t happen overnight .Peace, love and joy don’t just happen , you have to make them happen. Here’s a few tips on dealing with the stress of the season and keeping out of family squabbles .
Since just about the entire human race depends on Instagram , Twitter , Facebook and CNN to give us accurate , timely news ,my first tip is so simple a Geico caveman can do it .
Delete your loved ones . No , not permanently. I’m not a psychopath .I’m talking about delete them online . Get rid of all family on social media and blame it on a hacker. This is probably the easiest solution when dealing with serious drama like ” you know I think Uncle Dave’s turkey was too dry last year , don’t you agree ?” or “Aunt Mabel ,you know ugly Christmas sweater karaoke was my idea “. By being out of the loop , you’ll be really surprised when Uncle Eddie corrals you into the Reynolds Redneck Christmas video that he is planning to spam the entire planet with.
Fake amnesia . A little harder to pull off but any good actor can summon the forgetful and oblivious spirit we all have deep inside .
Start every family conversation with a disclaimer . That way you won’t be liable for anything you say or do . It’s not your fault for hurting Aunt Bessie Sue’s feelings after all . She was warned that nobody likes her green bean casserole and your disclaimer will remind her . Politely .