We are live this morning with Marie Antoinette, the newest member of the French royal family. She spills all ,when asked about her new country –
Marie: I have to say that the French were hella rude, boring, old and also -dog thieves. I endured a long, boring day stuck in a carriage, only because I had my dog, Mops, in my lap.
Marie: But then, when I finally got out of the stuffy, old person-mobile at a cold af river, I was made to walk through some stupid tent meant to represent the alliance. On one bank I entered as the Daughter of the Holy Roman Empire and when I came out the other side, I was suddenly the French Dauphine and one dog less.
Marie: Nobody told me Dauphine was French for no dogs.
Marie: When I cried –because duh I’m fourteen- and went to hug my traveling companion, she pushed me away!
Marie: Do I smell bad? I bathed like three weeks ago… the French must bathe every two.
Marie: Also, I’m going to banish old people from the court when I’m Queen and that’ll be soon -because the king is old AF. Like 35 I think.
Marie: I want another alliance. I’ll ask my mama to form another one.