Basic AF Kentucky Derby Predictions


So ,it’s that time of year again. What’s that ,you ask ? I’ll give you three hints, the first two don’t count and the answer is not Tornado season.

It seems the uncultured might need a little help with this one . I mean that affectionately ,of course .I’m from Texas and the only time you need to watch out is if I end a sentence with ” Bless Your Heart .”

It’s called “The most exciting 2 minutes in sports.”  It’s when ladies get to wear hats. BIG HATS . The  most extravagant ,outlandish ,sometimes ridiculous hats that would make  Marie Antoinette green with envy .

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And these big hat wearing ladies drink Mint juleps.  Because  being that extra is a pain in the neck . My apologies ,Marie . I lost my head on that little funny .

Oh yeah , and there is also a horse race  . I almost forgot about that . The horses are the real stars of this fabulous event . It’s called The Kentucky Derby after all.  It’s the day that we get to see the glorious,  beautiful and sometimes strangely named thoroughbreds .  That is the world of horse racing. It’s a really important day for these horses.  The winner gets a rose blanket and has his picture taken with his humans. What a great way to be appreciated after you just won a ton of money .  Then, we have to give a little credit to the jockeys who have a little part in this majestic sport of kings. But, just a little .img_0112

By now you know what I’m so excited about today. Hats, liquor and horses . In that order. I am all about the three prestigious races that define the upper echelon of the mega rich horse racing world.

It’s my chance to live vicariously through the dreamily perfect, blue hydrangea scented lives of the unscrupulously rich . Pearls and designer dresses are my aesthetic. My bank account jus doesn’t know it.

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Enough of the boring old money types and on with the topic of today’s post .

It’s always a gamble who to place your bets on . I don’t pretend that I’m in the know or Tyler Henry but I’m not a virgin when it comes to horse racing. I have been to a few races . I haven’t picked a winner but I’m going to one day .

I’m going to ignore the track conditions at Churchill Downs and pretend I have no idea what horses are good mudders. It’s not really pretending because I really don’t.

Instead , I am going to give you my predictions for this race based on how cute I think the horse is and how much I like their name. Normally, this is not how it’s done but I think it’s a lot more entertaining than the strategy the experts use.

This is a two -part post today so I will be announcing my predictions later this afternoon, after the race. Actually ,at 3:00 CST.

Spoiler alert : I will also reveal my favorite names if I was a horse namer. I am a shoe-in for this position.  I have some great ideas in this department but I can’t tell you before I copyright them.

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