Calling All Kinfolk

I was lamenting my lack of suitably hilarious and interesting matters to bore you with when my mom dropped a bit of lmfao my way .

I know everyone has that family member who struggles with social media and we all let them . Don’t lie.

I now have one too but he’s funnier than yours , I promise.

I had sworn off Facebook to focus on my writing. I know , I’m a pretentious brat. I’m back now . A circus sideshow was born and I had to come out . It’s not healthy to stay in the closet.

Apparently my mother’s sibling announced his arrival on Facebook by asking “where all his kinfolks at” and here’s what he learned. They were hiding .

Legit question . Evidently Uncle K. didn’t know we were there… reading his Facebook posts and laughing at his cute virgin social media doings. Facebook had been full of bullies and drama but now it was fun again . I’m not really sure who told my uncle K about Facebook but they didn’t tell him how to Facebook.

His wall consists of the following cute funnies and I’ve added some of the things that they might mean to the Facebook world.


  1. Liking his own posts …. might be that he has good self- esteem and confidence building skills
  2. Using Instant messenger like a text randomly on the internet so that you can find your people … might mean you are displaying psychic ability with dolphin sonar
  3. Answering his own posts might mean great problem solving, high intelligence or dementia or he has lsd latent hippie syndrome

My Uncle K has no idea how his life is going to change. Oh ,Uncle and you thought the sixties were all about love . Facebook is all about likes ! Facebook leads us to delusional states of euphoria caused by fake friends but you have fun with it .

My uncle won’t use it to be mean or hateful or gossip about Kim K. and he doesn’t care if you like his posts . He likes them . And to show my support as only his favorite niece can, I liked everything that anyone else put on his wall too . I used emoticons and my brother and I added memes to our comments also .

But Facebook is not ready for such superpowers. I’m not going to lie . That’s why I left Facebook. I’m too enlightened and deep to care about what you digested last night. I have a blog. Sooo there.

But I’m going to be like my Uncle K.

Just let me know if you want to join us in our quest for a new Facebook. One where social isn’t part of the media and your validation is all you need.