Inherited Disaster


The inheritance of bad skin and flabby thighs were all she got from her deceased parents. No hidden gold or secret wealth to be sure – just enough pockmarks in her jowly- fleshed cheeks to garner annoying nicknames like a pizza face.

Thanks, Mom, thanks, Dad – you guys really suck.

She supposed she should feel guilty about having no emotions other than pity for herself but she wasn’t going to lie – she didn’t feel sad. Just a little disappointed that she had a constellation mapped on her face on the day of the reading of the will.

Opening the door to the study, she gasped in horror at the sight of her parents sitting calmly with placid stares on their blank faces.

“We’ve been waiting for you”, her mom said. “Aren’t you curious about your inheritance ?”