The almost total eclipse

The date is somewhere before the beginning of life on our planet and somewhere after the death of intelligent life on our planet.

Starting at 6:00 am I did yoga while drinking coffee, fed the dog,drank more coffee , contemplated the meaning of life and eradicated world hunger .  I know, right … Sometimes I even amaze myself.

I read my newsfeed because I don’t want to be the only person who doesn’t know who Trump fired from his staff,  who North Korea is threatening next and who Taylor Swift is dating this week.

I know what you are thinking. How can anyone be so perfectly adept at handling the stresses of life without missing a beat?

I pride myself on multitasking so I already knew that Taylor Swift had all of her social media and and posted a cryptic message somewhat akin to hieroglyphics on Twitter before signing off .

The Total Eclipse of Taylor Swift had a sad amount of mascara, eyeliner and awful makeup. It also wasted precious minutes of my life while I obsessed over the million dollar question . All the while keeping a ridiculous amount of fangirls ,haters and everyone (except for my mother and husband)talking.

For those who live in a cave, under a rock or were raised by wolves; Taylor Swift is the most amazing, beautiful serial dater who also sings the songs that she writes about the ones who piss her off.

My feed had been blowing up with the mysterious doings of T. Swift and her posse. One of her people made a quite obscurely vague comment of how “she was definitely up to something.”

Clearly I wasn’t ready to be part of the Swiftie Squad.
Then as swiftly as Kim Kardashian’s sex tape accidentally leaked all over the internet, CHAOS broke loose.

Evidently those in the know …knew exactly what was up.

So when my daughter called, she got really lucky.  I  had already had a pot of coffee and even read the big news .  I still was so perplexed about why anyone cared about Taylor Swift. She  let me in on the inner secrets of the fan girl obsessed world.  She was so excited about this epic event that I was slightly alarmed.

When I killed my Facebook, no one noticed. Guess it’s different when you are the phenonemom known as T. Swift  because it means everything….

Because now there is the theory that a new album is about to be dropped ..Suddenly, the Swifties have concluded that it will happen on August 21st and the new release will be uniquely named Eclipse.

In later news:

Taylor Swift Eclipsing the Eclipse Is the Ultimate Power Move – Zimbio

Dr. Stephen Hawking said he wasn’t aware that TS had fully developed this technology. President Trump remarked that he hoped she didn’t sell it to North Korea.